Bell Book & Candle

The West Village. Home to many hidden gems, this neighborhood is one of the better in New York City. So last night, I decided to try the new restaurant Bell Book & Candle, a place that prides itself on growing its own produce on the roof of the building they are located in. The roof grown produce makes up for 60% of the produce used in the meals, which seems like a good idea despite the possibility of it being covered in the dirt that floats through the NYC air.

A signal that this was not going to be the best dining experience was when the menu noted in fine print that you are charged $1 per person for water, be it still or sparkling. The rationale for this was due to the fact that Bell Book & Candle bottles their own water in an attempt to be green (I'm all for going green, but hiding the charge in the fine print is pretty shady).

Sadly, the food at Bell Book & Candle was just plain bad (that's the nice way of putting it). The steak tartare felt like it was made by a simply throwing a clump of meat together with random herbs and spices, while the "Roasted Beets & Efren's House-Made Burrata Mint & Pistachio Pesto" made one come away asking "is that it?" For the main course, the grilled lamb chops left much to be desired as well.

It was easy to taste the chef's lifetime of culinary failure in this meal.

Were it not for the good company I had while eating at Bell Book & Candle, I probably would have tried to hang myself at the table in an attempt to escape this culinary horror.

Final verdict: At the end of the meal, I realized that I would have enjoyed a prostate exam from my large-handed urologist more.